{the whole picture}

September is my month to reflect and remember {more to come on why that is}.

Today I would like to reflect on something I alluded to in my last post. When I was 17, I enlisted in the Washington Army National Guard, and went to Army Basic Training {"boot camp"} in the middle of summer at Ft. Jackson, South Carolina.

I am from the Seattle area. I am whiter-than-white {lack of exposure to sunlight}, and there is very little humidity here - it doesn't stay in the air, it condenses and rains. I live in a state that has real dirt, not sand. And we don't have cockroach problems, and our little black ants don't bite. Also, greens, lima beans, and squash are not usually on the everyday menu around here. So, needless to say, I was not in an environment I was used to {even minus the drill sergeant/boot camp part}.

Today I want to share with you a small part of boot camp: shin splints. Maybe you are a runner, maybe you exercise {see my last post to get an idea of how much I hate exercise}, but I am not athletic. So you can bet after running miles every day, and then wearing combat boots for days on end, I got shin splints. Now, being a non-exerciser, I didn't know what they were. By the time I finished boot camp {a story for another day}, and returned home, I had bi-lateral stress-fractures and painful shin splits from knee to ankle. Ouch! After a year of "Drilling" {one weekend a month training with the National Guard}, I was given a discharge from the National Guard because I was still not able to run a mile under 15 minutes {note: I can walk a mile in 16 minutes, so I am a really slow runner}.

I was bummed. And a bit angry. God had obviously orchestrated the channels needed for me to go to boot camp, He had been with me the whole way, and he could have prevented or healed the shin splints. But He didn't. He let me go to boot camp and then not have a career in the military. I didn't get my enlistment bonus, and they didn't pay for school. And I still can't run worth beans.

But it was worth it. I am so glad I did it. And I hope one day I get to see the whole picture. Even if it is the day I die and go to heaven. I want to know why. But now, I want to know why so I can marvel at His plan. I want to know whose lives were affected by me being there {in my earthly way, I kinda want it to be like "It's a Wonderful Life" and see what would have happened if I hadn't been there}. I am not angry anymore. And I am not bummed anymore. It's nice to be a mama to my sweet boy, and to be a military spouse now {note: being a spouse is harder than being the one serving, just sayin'}. And I have faith in His perfect plan. Although it is hard to be patient while He waits to reveal it.

Check back later for more on the boot camp experience.